English 
فارسی 
Extremely good people are always ready, sometimes eager to tell lies! It seems strange because we are attached to our commitment to the truth, even at the cost it may impose on our lives. No one likes a liar for he ignores the truth for personal gain.
But good people do not turn their backs on reality for their own benefit: they lie for the sake of the person who is being deceived! Considering this fact, we are prepared to accept lies in certain situations. For instance, imagine a situation in which you meet your old aunt, she is very proud of herself for being good at cooking carrot cakes with vanilla ice cream, however they are not very good anymore and her good days are gone. Now she makes some mistakes in the recipe and sometimes forgets how long she needs to keep the butter in the fridge. The result is disgusting.
But it is essential for her to feel that she is still able to make others happy. That is why you lie to her.
This kind of lie is not produced to protect yourself. It is told because of your loyalty to a greater truth – the fact that you love your aunt. This loyalty to the greater truth could be threatened by the commitment to the less important truth (disgusting taste of the cake). The importance of lying can be seen in our innate tendency to make connections. Of course, it is quite possible to love someone deeply and at the same time believe that she is a terrible cook. But in our minds, rejecting our cake means rejecting our being! We force everyone to lie to us for our lack of wisdom. The wrong belief: (“If you do not like my cake, it means you cannot love me”). It ends in a kind dishonesty!: (“I loved your cake”) which secure a greater truth (“I love you aunt”) the same principle applies to more complex situations.
Good people, no matter how much they love the truth, have a greater commitment to something else: being kind to others. They keep in mind that telling the truth can create destructive beliefs in others’ minds. They maintain their loyalty to something more important than the truth. They are loyal to the well-being of other people. They know that telling the truth does not mean that you should tell everything word by word, but it means making sure that the other person gets a clear picture of reality.
Listening to the narration of a good liar who speaks clearly can be soothing. But this is only because we do not want to recognize the fragility of our minds. We can believe that we are able to embrace the truth, no matter how bitter it is. We may insist that others tell us everything they do. But we must reduce our sensitivity to emotional pain. That is why we not only should not tell the truth, but also we should actively hope that others sometimes lie to us – and we wish we would never find the truth out.
From the book “On Being Nice” by Alain de Botton
This post is also available in: Persian
